t’s Lenten season once again. For some, the Season is the time for a carefree vacation: away from office or school deadlines, opportunities for becoming a couch or a mouse potato, time for booze and binge or simply a time to put oneself to sleep mode. For some this is the Season for reflection and soul searching. For some, this is the time to communicate with the Lord– a one way form of communication where one simply listens to Him and meditate on the words that the heart hears.
It is during this Season that I find myself in the confession box. Sad to say, I get to practice this only once a year. Two years ago, as I stood in line, a young girl, smiling, went out of the confession box. As I pondered over my sins, I suddenly wondered what the girl confessed to the priest. From the girl’s features, it seemed to me that the she haven’t even had her first communion, well probably she was just too short for her age. Nevertheless, her ways intrigued me. I suddenly thought of the things I did when I was her age which could have been considered sinful: quarreled with my brother or playmates, whined when my whims were not approved by my parents, having been stubborn when asked to do a household chore. But I suppose back then, I didn’t even think of them as things which I have to confess to a priest. In short, when you are young you have the vaguest idea of what is right or wrong, unless you get spanked on the butt.
Now that I got older, I suppose I can discern now what is right or wrong. But the problem is as you get older, yes you get wiser in differentiating the proper from what is not but you get so dumb in admititing to yourself what is proper from what is not… It’s difficult to confess one’s misgivings just like the young child. It’s quite difficult to admit the mistakes to ourselves, what more to other people. But the thing is, as you are able to admit these mistakes to yourself and eventually admit them to others, you get liberated.
Hopefully, as the Season ends, we all get smiles on our faces, just like what the young girl showed as she went out of the confession box.
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