I think I mentioned in my old entry that after my four-year long desire to be a nun, I then wanted to become a teacher. This dream persisted until third year college. And fortunately it has become my occupation for the last four years. And now I guess I am tired.
At the end of a semester, there would always be a point when I would feel drained out from what have happened during the whole period. But I recover easily. I become inspired once again because I would be back to my senses and realize that a new semester means new faces and new class experiences. But there came a point when I can no longer convince myself to be excited. Or maybe it only happened because I am expecting something more exciting months from now- getting a Ph.D. degree somewhere else. But then the excitement wears out, because then I realize that if ever I finish the degree, one of the activities that I will get into eventually is also teaching. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love teaching. Maybe I just needed a break from it.
I actually have a lot of memorable moments from this profession. During my first semester of teaching, siyempre kabado. Actually, meeting the students for the first time at the beginning of every semester is an anxiety-filled activity for me. At the end of my first semester of teaching, a student gave me a box of Goldilocks polvoron, with a stationery with the print: "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra." And then her/his handwritten note said: "Ma’am, thanks for the extra." She/he left the box and the note in my pigeon hole. Yes, I never got to know who gave me the gift. At first, I was scared because I thought it was improper for a teacher to receive a gift from a student. Parang ang dating ay regalo yun dahil pinasa ko siya, parang kuwatro o kwarto and dating. Hahaha. But then I don’t remember doing something "special" for a student. And besides, it was left in my pigeon hole, might as well take it. But to tell the truth, I became inspired and kung sino man yun, thank you because it changed my view of educating students. Since then, naging masipag ako sa pag-prepare ng mga ituturo at ng mga class activities. I won’t forget the Chemazing Race sa Institute. The season two of it, I did with Ness and Dennis. Minsan you really have to exert effort if you are an instructor. Hindi puwedeng puro salita salita lang. The lessons should be memorable for them too.
Instructor duties also include making exams. Ito ang hindi ko makakalimutan din- ang mga pasaway na meetings sa paggawa ng exams. Awayan ng mga tanong… lalo na si Carolynne nung sa Chem 31.1, ayaw paawat. Minsan may libreng pakain pag meetings, minsan wala. Minsan mabilis lang, pero kadalasan ang tagal ng meetings. If only students knew kung paano pinag-uusapan ang mga tanong sa kanila. If it’s challenging to take the exams, it’s even more challenging to create the perfect exam. Then comes the nerve-wrecking part- to think of the senseless and simply just-for-fun bonus questions. Ansaya talaga nito. Too bad, during my last semester, I was no longer part of a group na may mga ganitong meetings. I just tried to overhear their deliberations, arguments and laughter. It made me smile just the same.
The least favorite duty of mine is checking submitted papers. Kaya kung tinatamad mag-check ng mga quizzes, exchange papers. It is also actually an advantage since the class gets to discuss the answers right away. Hmm…justifiable. Hahaha. But I have no choice for the exams and reports.
By midsemester, we conduct the SET (Student Evaluation for Teachers). The SET is very subjective, but more often than not, it tells the truth. For this, I don’t get excited to see the numbers but the comments, both positive and negative. My unforgettable SET comment: "She is charismatic!" Hahaha. Whatever she/he meant by charismatic, it is a funny decsription. My worse comment: "She gets boring once in a while." I admit that. Usually I get boring if my students are boring too. Well as a person, I am really boring, unless we share the same interests. One character I lack is the ability to just be spontaneously fun and interesting. I can plan and organize class activities, but to appear just outright fun…bagsak ako dun. Feeling ko nga students don’t see me as someone they can relate to and they see me as a serious person. I’ll teach you alright but I am the type who places boundaries.
Siyempre, the most important part of being a teacher is maintaining good relationships with your co-teachers. Magkakaiba kayo ugali, kaya di maiiwasan na may makaaway din. Ang batch naming pumasok as instructors, masaya- because though we had different personalities, nagakaroon kami ng common ground. HAlos alam namin ang mga pinagdadaanan ng bawat isa, be it good or bad. Eventually naging kabarkada na rin ang mga oldies. Syempre, dahil magkakabarkada, kapag may napag-tripan na faculty (yung tipong nakakabad trip naman talaga), eh aapihin na ng lahat. Though sa batch namin, may nag-away away na rin. Case in point, and mga mahilig magpapansin at mag-inarte, bawal sa grupo. We were a happy-go-lucky batch kaya naman halos mabaliw ang sumunod na director sa batch namin. We even have a name- The Contaminants. Madami kaming issues, kaya mas exciting. But you know what’s the amazing part? We kept the issues (workplace wars, politics in the Institute, love and hate stories, parties, academic matters, etc.) among the group, kaya the younger batches have no knowledge of these. Sayang nga e, they could have learned the realities of life. Amidst the issues, I think we ALL ACTED PROFESSIONALLY. Life as an instructor in the Institute right now is difficult. You are driven to finish your studies at the shortest possible time while you have attend to your teaching duties. They don’t get to relax and to live their graduate school life to the fullest. And the sad part is, instructors are forced to prioritize their studies than their teaching duties. Of course, I don’t speak for all. It’s how I see things right now.
Hay, I guess I’ll miss a lot when I leave the institute. I’ll forever enjoy the boardwork. But for now I have to give it a rest.
Thought to live by: Teaching is 1/4 preparation and 3/4 theater!
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