I do not know how to grow flowers though. Rockstar is not the type of person who would give flowers once in a while, so he gave me a flowering plant instead, for practical reasons. When he gave me the plant, it had three flowers. I kept the plant inside the faculty room, placed it in an area where sunlight can get through. I took care of it or I thought so. But there was a time when classes were suspended for about 2 days due to heavy rains. I left the plant in the room. When I came back, the flowers were in a really bad shape. Eventually, they died.
At that time, I had this association thing going through my head. Sometimes that habit of mine does me good, sometimes it gets me paranoid. I do not know if I have one sick brain or is it just normal enough. Tell me. The death of the flowers could have had meaning. Maybe it meant that my relationship with the person who gave me the plant would not last long, just like the flowers which died in less than a month! Maybe it meant that I do not know how to take care of important things and worse, important persons in my life, that’s why they die away from me. I pondered over it for quite a long time. I told him about it and he laughed at the idea. He simply told me that I have no talent when it comes to growing plants but teased me from time to time that I do not really take care of it. So I just got over my association thing.
For about one year, it did not bear flowers though it was supposed to survive during a certain season annually. But this summer, it did! Though it only had one flower, I was delighted enough. There is hope after all.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
WHEN LOVE BEGINS (Repost from Friendster)
Nanuod kami ni GF kahapon ng When Love Begins (the Aga-Anne movie) …yes, during the first play date! I was surprised to find a long line of moviegoers waiting for the current watchers to come out. I actually wanted to take their pictures, too bad hindi ko dala ang camera ko. Excited kasi si GF to see the film and her excitement excited me as well! Hindi kaya ni Rockstar ang mga ganitong movie that’s why he watched Iron Man instead.
Two nights ago, a friend sent this message: "Relationship without commitment and very little expectation is the healthiest way to enjoy life." Theoretically, this is true. But more often than not, human relationships come about with several strings attached. Whether the strings are connected in a simple linear fashion or in a complex web-like manner, they prove to be essential in maintaining the relationship. I guess this is one point emphasized by the film. One thing I liked about the story line is the idea of subtle role reversal. By role reversal I meant that the guy and girl in the story were not the typical types we find in real life relationships. I do not know if such characters really exist, maybe they do. Why? Guy sends messages 15 times a day. Girl: no response. Guy excitedly introduces girl to his family. Girl: excited to meet guy’s family but finds no reason to introduce guy to her family. Things like that. Well that’s all I have to say about the movie.
GF and I had our own addictions. GF wanted to go to the location where the film was shot: Boracay. I got addicted to its soundtrack: One Hello. GF searched for Boracay tour packages. I searched for the song’s lyrics. I hate to be mushy but the song just can’t get out of my head. After downloading the lyrics, I started memorizing it. If I don’t belt out the lyrics, I whistle the tune. Jologs na ba? Hahaha. But there is just something about the lyrics that applies to me right now and to a few people I know. "Love begins with one hello." Of course, the love implied here refers to something romantic. But just like what I said in my old entry, “Love means more than having a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a wife or a husband. Though it is undeniably difficult to understand, it has a whole lot of different forms for each one of us that we can totally enjoy.” To add, love does not equate to romance all the time. So there. Here goes the lyrics:
If you’re not afraid Of what love brings Then endings are beginning Of beautiful things
It’s a chance you take A chance you’re in If someone’s gonna find you
First you gotta let them in…Coz love begins with one hello. The hardest part is over
So it’s easy letting go One hello, is how it starts You might win in love While lose your heart.
If you’re not afraid Of what you feel Then try and keep it simple But try and keep it real
And if being real Means you’re someday say goodbye Remember my friend, that was not the end
It’s a circle you know And it’s starts with one hello
People come and go. You meet them at a certain point in your life. You could have exchanged numbers, email addresses and what have you. You have communication for some time, then lose it intentionally or unknowingly as time passed. Then you meet again and the cycle starts over. The “start” of the cycle is always exciting for sure. Surreal but nice is the best way to describe it. The middle part of the cycle depends on how you deal with each other. Depending on the circumstances, you may fast-forward it towards the ending, or go on slow motion to cherish the moments. I don’t know which one you prefer. Either way, it’s a cycle. But if you wanted to end the cycle, that’s another story.
It would be sad to see people, friends at that to go out of your life. For me, I may not force them to stay, but surely I would have reasons for them not to go away.
Two nights ago, a friend sent this message: "Relationship without commitment and very little expectation is the healthiest way to enjoy life." Theoretically, this is true. But more often than not, human relationships come about with several strings attached. Whether the strings are connected in a simple linear fashion or in a complex web-like manner, they prove to be essential in maintaining the relationship. I guess this is one point emphasized by the film. One thing I liked about the story line is the idea of subtle role reversal. By role reversal I meant that the guy and girl in the story were not the typical types we find in real life relationships. I do not know if such characters really exist, maybe they do. Why? Guy sends messages 15 times a day. Girl: no response. Guy excitedly introduces girl to his family. Girl: excited to meet guy’s family but finds no reason to introduce guy to her family. Things like that. Well that’s all I have to say about the movie.
GF and I had our own addictions. GF wanted to go to the location where the film was shot: Boracay. I got addicted to its soundtrack: One Hello. GF searched for Boracay tour packages. I searched for the song’s lyrics. I hate to be mushy but the song just can’t get out of my head. After downloading the lyrics, I started memorizing it. If I don’t belt out the lyrics, I whistle the tune. Jologs na ba? Hahaha. But there is just something about the lyrics that applies to me right now and to a few people I know. "Love begins with one hello." Of course, the love implied here refers to something romantic. But just like what I said in my old entry, “Love means more than having a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a wife or a husband. Though it is undeniably difficult to understand, it has a whole lot of different forms for each one of us that we can totally enjoy.” To add, love does not equate to romance all the time. So there. Here goes the lyrics:
If you’re not afraid Of what love brings Then endings are beginning Of beautiful things
It’s a chance you take A chance you’re in If someone’s gonna find you
First you gotta let them in…Coz love begins with one hello. The hardest part is over
So it’s easy letting go One hello, is how it starts You might win in love While lose your heart.
If you’re not afraid Of what you feel Then try and keep it simple But try and keep it real
And if being real Means you’re someday say goodbye Remember my friend, that was not the end
It’s a circle you know And it’s starts with one hello
People come and go. You meet them at a certain point in your life. You could have exchanged numbers, email addresses and what have you. You have communication for some time, then lose it intentionally or unknowingly as time passed. Then you meet again and the cycle starts over. The “start” of the cycle is always exciting for sure. Surreal but nice is the best way to describe it. The middle part of the cycle depends on how you deal with each other. Depending on the circumstances, you may fast-forward it towards the ending, or go on slow motion to cherish the moments. I don’t know which one you prefer. Either way, it’s a cycle. But if you wanted to end the cycle, that’s another story.
It would be sad to see people, friends at that to go out of your life. For me, I may not force them to stay, but surely I would have reasons for them not to go away.
SNIPPET (Repost from Friendster)
Sa gitna ng Faculty Center at AS sa UP, mayroong maliit na hump. Hindi ko nga alam kung hump nga ba siya na maituturing. Pag nasa malayo ka, hindi mo makikita. Pag napadaan ka na lang dun, tsaka mo siya mararamdaman. Madaming beses na akong nabiktima ng hump na iyon. Sa liit niyang iyon, ilang beses na ako natisod. At kahit ilang beses ko sabihin sa sarili ko na sa susunod na dadaan ako dun ay iiwasan ko na siya, natitisod pa rin ako. Siguro dahil gusto kong matisod. Pag natitisod ako dun, kunwari walang nangyari at mapapangiti ako. Gusto ko sigurong natitisod para mayroon akong karagdagang dahilan para ngumiti. Ewan. O sadyang hindi ako natututo sa mga pagkakamali ko.
Natisod na ba kayo dun?
Natisod na ba kayo dun?
EL AMOR EN LOS TIEMPOS DEL COLERA
I have this habit of matchmaking. Lately, the weird thing with this habit of
mine is that I just do it in my head. Why? Because oftentimes, I match
people, usually a man and a woman of whatever age, who are seated beside each other, in a train,
in a bus, in a mall or just about anywhere. I don’t know them and they don’t know me either. They have not even bothered to look at each
other as they are busy minding their own lives. But I don’t care, I will try to make them a pair in my head. First, I will look at their physical
characteristics. Do they look good
together? Nah…the guy looks too corporate and the girl looks…well all the more corporate
…they would make a boring couple. Or the
guy looks like a dork and the girl looks like a princess. Alright, the perfect love story. Then I would think of the best pick-up
lines, either by the guy or by the girl…so the two of them would end up
together. It’s fun actually. The story would go on, until one of them
leaves. Poof! Look for other victims.
Not all of the matchmaking happened in my head. I actually used to bring two people together. I gladly did this for my friends who shared
with me their intentions. I made sure
that the two of them felt something for each other…well that made the
matchmaker’s life easier, I suppose. I
never lived up to the challenge of connecting two people who were miles away
from each other, figuratively and literally- for it was difficult to play with
other people’s emotions. It was me who
knew what was going on. Then after the
matchmaking, a blissful life follows. I
figured back then, I was the best choice for this activity because I found it
exciting and I had no romantic relationship yet then, so I was quite neutral
and saw both sides of the coin. Too bad,
not all of the projects had happy endings. Then I asked why. When I started
seeing the couple, they were like perfect for each other. Even before they became one, I thought that they
had the characteristics that would complement each other. They felt bad after a break up. I felt the same way too. Going beyond my projects, I wondered why
people in a relationship decide to break up.
As I said, I knew a lot about couples close to me. Years back, I was like a priest to whom they
confessed everything. In a month’s time,
I was told of two break up stories and one relationship that was on the rocks (which
finally ended this year). Then somebody told
me that if I hear quite a lot of break up stories, it’s a sign that it would be
my turn to have a romantic relationship. And true enough, a month after, I had my first relationship. I did not have that on purpose to fulfill the
prophecy, hahaha. It was actually weird. But what bothered me is the fact that I might
be the one to tell my break up story in the future. As of now, do I see myself breaking up with
the person? No. But I remain steadfast in my quest for the
possible reasons we might break up and do the necessary precautions to
counteract those causes. Is that really
possible? But I am also the “expect the
worse” type of person. Makes the pain more tolerable, I think.
I actually am writing this now because I feel sad, not for
me, but for four friends. The number of
years a couple had been together does not really matter. If something cuts through the bond, sometimes
it cannot be stopped. It will slice
completely and leave each one half the person he or she used to be. Everything happens for a reason.
Love is undeniably difficult to understand. Sometimes, it begins with only one person in
love and the other one unmindful. And
the beauty of it is seen when the loving person begins to affect the unmindful
one. Sometimes it begins blissfully,
when the couple seems to be a match made in heaven and they are interested in
each other at the very start. Either way
it blooms, the fact that it could end remains.
I came from a school exclusive for girls and a Catholic
school at that. But you know what kind
of thinking it somehow instilled in me, which I realized when I was already in
UP? That relationship with another girl
is alright, in the same way that a relationship of a guy with another guy is
fine. Why? Because of the thought that people of the
same gender, when they are in a relationship would understand each other
better. And what happens if people
understand each other…world peace! No
more women are from Venus and men from Mars mentality. But I was quite disappointed to realize that
it is just but the same old relationship…that somehow breaks up in the end…and
more fatal actually than the usual guy-girl relationship.
Now I am in a relationship and I am hearing break up stories,
I wonder what prophecy we now have for this. I hate to follow suit. Another
thing that bothers me is that I haven’t read any of the works of Gabriel Garcia
Marquez. No class ever required me to
read his books and no one recommended his books to me. But now, I wanted to read Love in the Time of Cholera. Is it a nice read? If you know where I can buy a cheap copy of
this book or if you can lend me one, please…
Stay in love. Love
means more than having a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a wife or a husband. Though it is undeniably difficult to
understand, it has a whole lot of different forms for each one of us that we can totally enjoy.
mine is that I just do it in my head. Why? Because oftentimes, I match
people, usually a man and a woman of whatever age, who are seated beside each other, in a train,
in a bus, in a mall or just about anywhere. I don’t know them and they don’t know me either. They have not even bothered to look at each
other as they are busy minding their own lives. But I don’t care, I will try to make them a pair in my head. First, I will look at their physical
characteristics. Do they look good
together? Nah…the guy looks too corporate and the girl looks…well all the more corporate
…they would make a boring couple. Or the
guy looks like a dork and the girl looks like a princess. Alright, the perfect love story. Then I would think of the best pick-up
lines, either by the guy or by the girl…so the two of them would end up
together. It’s fun actually. The story would go on, until one of them
leaves. Poof! Look for other victims.
Not all of the matchmaking happened in my head. I actually used to bring two people together. I gladly did this for my friends who shared
with me their intentions. I made sure
that the two of them felt something for each other…well that made the
matchmaker’s life easier, I suppose. I
never lived up to the challenge of connecting two people who were miles away
from each other, figuratively and literally- for it was difficult to play with
other people’s emotions. It was me who
knew what was going on. Then after the
matchmaking, a blissful life follows. I
figured back then, I was the best choice for this activity because I found it
exciting and I had no romantic relationship yet then, so I was quite neutral
and saw both sides of the coin. Too bad,
not all of the projects had happy endings. Then I asked why. When I started
seeing the couple, they were like perfect for each other. Even before they became one, I thought that they
had the characteristics that would complement each other. They felt bad after a break up. I felt the same way too. Going beyond my projects, I wondered why
people in a relationship decide to break up.
As I said, I knew a lot about couples close to me. Years back, I was like a priest to whom they
confessed everything. In a month’s time,
I was told of two break up stories and one relationship that was on the rocks (which
finally ended this year). Then somebody told
me that if I hear quite a lot of break up stories, it’s a sign that it would be
my turn to have a romantic relationship. And true enough, a month after, I had my first relationship. I did not have that on purpose to fulfill the
prophecy, hahaha. It was actually weird. But what bothered me is the fact that I might
be the one to tell my break up story in the future. As of now, do I see myself breaking up with
the person? No. But I remain steadfast in my quest for the
possible reasons we might break up and do the necessary precautions to
counteract those causes. Is that really
possible? But I am also the “expect the
worse” type of person. Makes the pain more tolerable, I think.
I actually am writing this now because I feel sad, not for
me, but for four friends. The number of
years a couple had been together does not really matter. If something cuts through the bond, sometimes
it cannot be stopped. It will slice
completely and leave each one half the person he or she used to be. Everything happens for a reason.
Love is undeniably difficult to understand. Sometimes, it begins with only one person in
love and the other one unmindful. And
the beauty of it is seen when the loving person begins to affect the unmindful
one. Sometimes it begins blissfully,
when the couple seems to be a match made in heaven and they are interested in
each other at the very start. Either way
it blooms, the fact that it could end remains.
I came from a school exclusive for girls and a Catholic
school at that. But you know what kind
of thinking it somehow instilled in me, which I realized when I was already in
UP? That relationship with another girl
is alright, in the same way that a relationship of a guy with another guy is
fine. Why? Because of the thought that people of the
same gender, when they are in a relationship would understand each other
better. And what happens if people
understand each other…world peace! No
more women are from Venus and men from Mars mentality. But I was quite disappointed to realize that
it is just but the same old relationship…that somehow breaks up in the end…and
more fatal actually than the usual guy-girl relationship.
Now I am in a relationship and I am hearing break up stories,
I wonder what prophecy we now have for this. I hate to follow suit. Another
thing that bothers me is that I haven’t read any of the works of Gabriel Garcia
Marquez. No class ever required me to
read his books and no one recommended his books to me. But now, I wanted to read Love in the Time of Cholera. Is it a nice read? If you know where I can buy a cheap copy of
this book or if you can lend me one, please…
Stay in love. Love
means more than having a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a wife or a husband. Though it is undeniably difficult to
understand, it has a whole lot of different forms for each one of us that we can totally enjoy.
BOARDWORK OR BOREDWORK (Repost from Friendster)
I think I mentioned in my old entry that after my four-year long desire to be a nun, I then wanted to become a teacher. This dream persisted until third year college. And fortunately it has become my occupation for the last four years. And now I guess I am tired.
At the end of a semester, there would always be a point when I would feel drained out from what have happened during the whole period. But I recover easily. I become inspired once again because I would be back to my senses and realize that a new semester means new faces and new class experiences. But there came a point when I can no longer convince myself to be excited. Or maybe it only happened because I am expecting something more exciting months from now- getting a Ph.D. degree somewhere else. But then the excitement wears out, because then I realize that if ever I finish the degree, one of the activities that I will get into eventually is also teaching. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love teaching. Maybe I just needed a break from it.
I actually have a lot of memorable moments from this profession. During my first semester of teaching, siyempre kabado. Actually, meeting the students for the first time at the beginning of every semester is an anxiety-filled activity for me. At the end of my first semester of teaching, a student gave me a box of Goldilocks polvoron, with a stationery with the print: "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra." And then her/his handwritten note said: "Ma’am, thanks for the extra." She/he left the box and the note in my pigeon hole. Yes, I never got to know who gave me the gift. At first, I was scared because I thought it was improper for a teacher to receive a gift from a student. Parang ang dating ay regalo yun dahil pinasa ko siya, parang kuwatro o kwarto and dating. Hahaha. But then I don’t remember doing something "special" for a student. And besides, it was left in my pigeon hole, might as well take it. But to tell the truth, I became inspired and kung sino man yun, thank you because it changed my view of educating students. Since then, naging masipag ako sa pag-prepare ng mga ituturo at ng mga class activities. I won’t forget the Chemazing Race sa Institute. The season two of it, I did with Ness and Dennis. Minsan you really have to exert effort if you are an instructor. Hindi puwedeng puro salita salita lang. The lessons should be memorable for them too.
Instructor duties also include making exams. Ito ang hindi ko makakalimutan din- ang mga pasaway na meetings sa paggawa ng exams. Awayan ng mga tanong… lalo na si Carolynne nung sa Chem 31.1, ayaw paawat. Minsan may libreng pakain pag meetings, minsan wala. Minsan mabilis lang, pero kadalasan ang tagal ng meetings. If only students knew kung paano pinag-uusapan ang mga tanong sa kanila. If it’s challenging to take the exams, it’s even more challenging to create the perfect exam. Then comes the nerve-wrecking part- to think of the senseless and simply just-for-fun bonus questions. Ansaya talaga nito. Too bad, during my last semester, I was no longer part of a group na may mga ganitong meetings. I just tried to overhear their deliberations, arguments and laughter. It made me smile just the same.
The least favorite duty of mine is checking submitted papers. Kaya kung tinatamad mag-check ng mga quizzes, exchange papers. It is also actually an advantage since the class gets to discuss the answers right away. Hmm…justifiable. Hahaha. But I have no choice for the exams and reports.
By midsemester, we conduct the SET (Student Evaluation for Teachers). The SET is very subjective, but more often than not, it tells the truth. For this, I don’t get excited to see the numbers but the comments, both positive and negative. My unforgettable SET comment: "She is charismatic!" Hahaha. Whatever she/he meant by charismatic, it is a funny decsription. My worse comment: "She gets boring once in a while." I admit that. Usually I get boring if my students are boring too. Well as a person, I am really boring, unless we share the same interests. One character I lack is the ability to just be spontaneously fun and interesting. I can plan and organize class activities, but to appear just outright fun…bagsak ako dun. Feeling ko nga students don’t see me as someone they can relate to and they see me as a serious person. I’ll teach you alright but I am the type who places boundaries.
Siyempre, the most important part of being a teacher is maintaining good relationships with your co-teachers. Magkakaiba kayo ugali, kaya di maiiwasan na may makaaway din. Ang batch naming pumasok as instructors, masaya- because though we had different personalities, nagakaroon kami ng common ground. HAlos alam namin ang mga pinagdadaanan ng bawat isa, be it good or bad. Eventually naging kabarkada na rin ang mga oldies. Syempre, dahil magkakabarkada, kapag may napag-tripan na faculty (yung tipong nakakabad trip naman talaga), eh aapihin na ng lahat. Though sa batch namin, may nag-away away na rin. Case in point, and mga mahilig magpapansin at mag-inarte, bawal sa grupo. We were a happy-go-lucky batch kaya naman halos mabaliw ang sumunod na director sa batch namin. We even have a name- The Contaminants. Madami kaming issues, kaya mas exciting. But you know what’s the amazing part? We kept the issues (workplace wars, politics in the Institute, love and hate stories, parties, academic matters, etc.) among the group, kaya the younger batches have no knowledge of these. Sayang nga e, they could have learned the realities of life. Amidst the issues, I think we ALL ACTED PROFESSIONALLY. Life as an instructor in the Institute right now is difficult. You are driven to finish your studies at the shortest possible time while you have attend to your teaching duties. They don’t get to relax and to live their graduate school life to the fullest. And the sad part is, instructors are forced to prioritize their studies than their teaching duties. Of course, I don’t speak for all. It’s how I see things right now.
Hay, I guess I’ll miss a lot when I leave the institute. I’ll forever enjoy the boardwork. But for now I have to give it a rest.
Thought to live by: Teaching is 1/4 preparation and 3/4 theater!
At the end of a semester, there would always be a point when I would feel drained out from what have happened during the whole period. But I recover easily. I become inspired once again because I would be back to my senses and realize that a new semester means new faces and new class experiences. But there came a point when I can no longer convince myself to be excited. Or maybe it only happened because I am expecting something more exciting months from now- getting a Ph.D. degree somewhere else. But then the excitement wears out, because then I realize that if ever I finish the degree, one of the activities that I will get into eventually is also teaching. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love teaching. Maybe I just needed a break from it.
I actually have a lot of memorable moments from this profession. During my first semester of teaching, siyempre kabado. Actually, meeting the students for the first time at the beginning of every semester is an anxiety-filled activity for me. At the end of my first semester of teaching, a student gave me a box of Goldilocks polvoron, with a stationery with the print: "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra." And then her/his handwritten note said: "Ma’am, thanks for the extra." She/he left the box and the note in my pigeon hole. Yes, I never got to know who gave me the gift. At first, I was scared because I thought it was improper for a teacher to receive a gift from a student. Parang ang dating ay regalo yun dahil pinasa ko siya, parang kuwatro o kwarto and dating. Hahaha. But then I don’t remember doing something "special" for a student. And besides, it was left in my pigeon hole, might as well take it. But to tell the truth, I became inspired and kung sino man yun, thank you because it changed my view of educating students. Since then, naging masipag ako sa pag-prepare ng mga ituturo at ng mga class activities. I won’t forget the Chemazing Race sa Institute. The season two of it, I did with Ness and Dennis. Minsan you really have to exert effort if you are an instructor. Hindi puwedeng puro salita salita lang. The lessons should be memorable for them too.
Instructor duties also include making exams. Ito ang hindi ko makakalimutan din- ang mga pasaway na meetings sa paggawa ng exams. Awayan ng mga tanong… lalo na si Carolynne nung sa Chem 31.1, ayaw paawat. Minsan may libreng pakain pag meetings, minsan wala. Minsan mabilis lang, pero kadalasan ang tagal ng meetings. If only students knew kung paano pinag-uusapan ang mga tanong sa kanila. If it’s challenging to take the exams, it’s even more challenging to create the perfect exam. Then comes the nerve-wrecking part- to think of the senseless and simply just-for-fun bonus questions. Ansaya talaga nito. Too bad, during my last semester, I was no longer part of a group na may mga ganitong meetings. I just tried to overhear their deliberations, arguments and laughter. It made me smile just the same.
The least favorite duty of mine is checking submitted papers. Kaya kung tinatamad mag-check ng mga quizzes, exchange papers. It is also actually an advantage since the class gets to discuss the answers right away. Hmm…justifiable. Hahaha. But I have no choice for the exams and reports.
By midsemester, we conduct the SET (Student Evaluation for Teachers). The SET is very subjective, but more often than not, it tells the truth. For this, I don’t get excited to see the numbers but the comments, both positive and negative. My unforgettable SET comment: "She is charismatic!" Hahaha. Whatever she/he meant by charismatic, it is a funny decsription. My worse comment: "She gets boring once in a while." I admit that. Usually I get boring if my students are boring too. Well as a person, I am really boring, unless we share the same interests. One character I lack is the ability to just be spontaneously fun and interesting. I can plan and organize class activities, but to appear just outright fun…bagsak ako dun. Feeling ko nga students don’t see me as someone they can relate to and they see me as a serious person. I’ll teach you alright but I am the type who places boundaries.
Siyempre, the most important part of being a teacher is maintaining good relationships with your co-teachers. Magkakaiba kayo ugali, kaya di maiiwasan na may makaaway din. Ang batch naming pumasok as instructors, masaya- because though we had different personalities, nagakaroon kami ng common ground. HAlos alam namin ang mga pinagdadaanan ng bawat isa, be it good or bad. Eventually naging kabarkada na rin ang mga oldies. Syempre, dahil magkakabarkada, kapag may napag-tripan na faculty (yung tipong nakakabad trip naman talaga), eh aapihin na ng lahat. Though sa batch namin, may nag-away away na rin. Case in point, and mga mahilig magpapansin at mag-inarte, bawal sa grupo. We were a happy-go-lucky batch kaya naman halos mabaliw ang sumunod na director sa batch namin. We even have a name- The Contaminants. Madami kaming issues, kaya mas exciting. But you know what’s the amazing part? We kept the issues (workplace wars, politics in the Institute, love and hate stories, parties, academic matters, etc.) among the group, kaya the younger batches have no knowledge of these. Sayang nga e, they could have learned the realities of life. Amidst the issues, I think we ALL ACTED PROFESSIONALLY. Life as an instructor in the Institute right now is difficult. You are driven to finish your studies at the shortest possible time while you have attend to your teaching duties. They don’t get to relax and to live their graduate school life to the fullest. And the sad part is, instructors are forced to prioritize their studies than their teaching duties. Of course, I don’t speak for all. It’s how I see things right now.
Hay, I guess I’ll miss a lot when I leave the institute. I’ll forever enjoy the boardwork. But for now I have to give it a rest.
Thought to live by: Teaching is 1/4 preparation and 3/4 theater!
FLOWER STORY I (Repost from Friendster)
I love the sight of flowers. I love drawing flowers. I love taking pictures of flowers. I love picking flowers, especially the small ones and make cute little bouquets out of them. There is something about flowers that leaves me just happy. I appreciate different kinds of flowers, but of course there are those which stand out in my list. Too bad however, my favorites cannot be seen all year long. At the start of a certain season, they appear to give you such a wonderful sight, but when the season ends, they also die out with time. Conditions are no longer favorable for them, so they disappear. And the cycle goes on. You don’t get to see the wonder all the time. But every time the plant turns on a new leaf, there is always an excitement, an anticipation to see the budding flower come to life. And so I figured, the same goes with human beings. When conditions are no longer conducive, something dies in us. We may die and live again or die forever. This is where the difference comes in: we have a choice, unlike the flowers which are chiefly dependent on the world that surrounds them.
After birth, then comes growth. I know I grew up because I am way above the sink when I brush my teeth. I know I grew up because my butt no longer shoots into the toilet bowl when I get to pee. But growing up is beyond these manifestations. I journeyed through life always looking up, just like the sunflowers along University Avenue.
As the sun was up, so were their faces. As I aged, I absorbed so many information and gained experiences that I thought would qualify me as a grown-up. But then, somewhere along the way, some things died in me. I grew up indeed but had to let go of some things, to be replaced by better ones, I hope.
Rainy season seemed to start early this year. And with the rain coming, the sunflowers slowly hid their faces, bowing down as if saying goodbye. The same goes for me. But I guess there is nothing to worry about. For after sometime, a better season will arrive, for me and the flowers to live again.
After birth, then comes growth. I know I grew up because I am way above the sink when I brush my teeth. I know I grew up because my butt no longer shoots into the toilet bowl when I get to pee. But growing up is beyond these manifestations. I journeyed through life always looking up, just like the sunflowers along University Avenue.
As the sun was up, so were their faces. As I aged, I absorbed so many information and gained experiences that I thought would qualify me as a grown-up. But then, somewhere along the way, some things died in me. I grew up indeed but had to let go of some things, to be replaced by better ones, I hope.
Rainy season seemed to start early this year. And with the rain coming, the sunflowers slowly hid their faces, bowing down as if saying goodbye. The same goes for me. But I guess there is nothing to worry about. For after sometime, a better season will arrive, for me and the flowers to live again.
BIG THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES (Repost from Friendster)
For some people, the joy of the Season lies in the gifts that they are to receive come Christmas day. During Christmas parties, raffles tend to be interesting when the displayed gifts are big in sizes. Each one keeps his/her hopes high in receiving the large ones — the bigger, the better. But sometimes, the best gifts come in small packages. Simply put, the things that can make us happy, secure and comfortable sometimes appear in containers, unwrapped and devoid of colorful and glittering ribbons. This is one thing I’ve realized. During these times that it’s very much difficult to be satisfied and contented, I’ve learned that we can get value out of life if we try to see the simple things that matter.
Natatawa kasi ako sa mga bagay na nagpapasaya sa akin, pansamantala lang o pangmatagalan.
1) Una sa listahan ay yung relief na nararamdaman mo after you responded to the call of nature. Sobra as in…lalo na pag hirap na hirap ka sa umpisa, tapos pagkatapos ng konting meditation eh SUCCESS! Hahaha! HIndi ko alam kung nararamdaman ng iba yun, pero ako I am very much thankful kapag nagtagumpay ako. Hahaha!
2) Kapag bagong palit ang bedsheet, pillow cases at bath towels sa bahay. Lalo na yung bath towel, ang saya-saya pag bagong laba yung tuwalya mo at hindi pa nanlilimahid.
3) Kapag malinis ang kuko ko sa paa. I don’t know why, one of the therapies that can ease my depression is seeing my toenails clean. Pag malungkot ako, lilinisin ko yung mga kuko ko, tapos medyo aayos na yung pakiramdam ko. Bonus happiness pa kung maayos yung pagkakalagay ko ng nail polish if I decide to put them on. Ito ang tinatawag na Happy Feet Therapy!
4) Sa mall, kapag nakabili ka ng bagay na gustung-gusto mo, na nakita mo after 3 hrs ng paghahanap sa kanya. Sabihin nating damit o sapatos ang pinag-uusapan dito. Bonus happiness pa kung nabili mo siya sa murang halaga.
5) Kapag nakasagot ka ng isang problem mula sa inorganic chemistry book ni D.A. Johnson na hindi tinitingnan ang answers to problems sa susunod na page. Bonus happiness pa pag na-derive mo talaga ang solution sa problem.
6) Kapag naghahanap ka ng mga journal articles para sa seminar mo at hindi kailangan ng subscription para sa napili mong journal. Panalo!
7) Kapag nageexperiment ka sa bagong recipe at nakuha mo na ang tamang timpla o nalaman mo na ang oras ng pagluluto sa oven na tamang-tamang luto lang at hindi sunog ang niluluto mo.
8) Kapag maganda ang homily ng pari sa misa at apektado ka talaga. Noong undergraduate ako, nakakatuwa, kadalasang naiisipan kong magsimba, yung homily nung pari ay appropriate sa current situation ko noong mga panahong iyon. Parang pinagsimba talaga ako ni Lord para maliwanagan ako.
9) Kapag naka-meet ka ng kaibigan o kamag-anak na matagal mo ng hindi nakikita in unexpected places. Nakakatuwa din pag yung blockmate mo ay kilala pala yung pinsan mong alam mong nag-eexist pero hindi mo pa talaga nakausap. It builds relationships.
10) Kapag perfect na ang pagkakakuha mo ng picture sa digital camera at hindi mo na kailangan pang ulitin.
11) Kapag nasa tono ang gitara ko at maganda ang tunog niya sa panahong ginagamit ko siya.
12) Para sa matakaw na kagaya ko, kapag masarap ang na-order ko sa isang resto na first time kong nakainan, ay laking tuwa ko na.
13) Kapag maganda yung nasakyan kong bus…yung walang ipis na pakalat-kalat at yung may TV.
14) Kapag naglinis ka ng mga bag mo at nakahanap ka ng pera (puwera naman coins) sa mga secret pockets…ay sobrang saya! Nyahahaha!
15) Kapag nakaupo ka sa MRT.
…
My list can actually go on and on. It’s funny to think of those mababaw things that you are really thankful for. Nais ko itong tawagin na GRATITUDE JOURNAL. At these times that life gets so complicated, it’s hard to recognize things that bring us benefits. Sometimes we burden ourselves in searching for real happiness, well in fact it slaps us in the face too hard…too many times.
Wishing you all a blessed new year!
P.S. With a fresh idea of "blessed" this time.
Natatawa kasi ako sa mga bagay na nagpapasaya sa akin, pansamantala lang o pangmatagalan.
1) Una sa listahan ay yung relief na nararamdaman mo after you responded to the call of nature. Sobra as in…lalo na pag hirap na hirap ka sa umpisa, tapos pagkatapos ng konting meditation eh SUCCESS! Hahaha! HIndi ko alam kung nararamdaman ng iba yun, pero ako I am very much thankful kapag nagtagumpay ako. Hahaha!
2) Kapag bagong palit ang bedsheet, pillow cases at bath towels sa bahay. Lalo na yung bath towel, ang saya-saya pag bagong laba yung tuwalya mo at hindi pa nanlilimahid.
3) Kapag malinis ang kuko ko sa paa. I don’t know why, one of the therapies that can ease my depression is seeing my toenails clean. Pag malungkot ako, lilinisin ko yung mga kuko ko, tapos medyo aayos na yung pakiramdam ko. Bonus happiness pa kung maayos yung pagkakalagay ko ng nail polish if I decide to put them on. Ito ang tinatawag na Happy Feet Therapy!
4) Sa mall, kapag nakabili ka ng bagay na gustung-gusto mo, na nakita mo after 3 hrs ng paghahanap sa kanya. Sabihin nating damit o sapatos ang pinag-uusapan dito. Bonus happiness pa kung nabili mo siya sa murang halaga.
5) Kapag nakasagot ka ng isang problem mula sa inorganic chemistry book ni D.A. Johnson na hindi tinitingnan ang answers to problems sa susunod na page. Bonus happiness pa pag na-derive mo talaga ang solution sa problem.
6) Kapag naghahanap ka ng mga journal articles para sa seminar mo at hindi kailangan ng subscription para sa napili mong journal. Panalo!
7) Kapag nageexperiment ka sa bagong recipe at nakuha mo na ang tamang timpla o nalaman mo na ang oras ng pagluluto sa oven na tamang-tamang luto lang at hindi sunog ang niluluto mo.
8) Kapag maganda ang homily ng pari sa misa at apektado ka talaga. Noong undergraduate ako, nakakatuwa, kadalasang naiisipan kong magsimba, yung homily nung pari ay appropriate sa current situation ko noong mga panahong iyon. Parang pinagsimba talaga ako ni Lord para maliwanagan ako.
9) Kapag naka-meet ka ng kaibigan o kamag-anak na matagal mo ng hindi nakikita in unexpected places. Nakakatuwa din pag yung blockmate mo ay kilala pala yung pinsan mong alam mong nag-eexist pero hindi mo pa talaga nakausap. It builds relationships.
10) Kapag perfect na ang pagkakakuha mo ng picture sa digital camera at hindi mo na kailangan pang ulitin.
11) Kapag nasa tono ang gitara ko at maganda ang tunog niya sa panahong ginagamit ko siya.
12) Para sa matakaw na kagaya ko, kapag masarap ang na-order ko sa isang resto na first time kong nakainan, ay laking tuwa ko na.
13) Kapag maganda yung nasakyan kong bus…yung walang ipis na pakalat-kalat at yung may TV.
14) Kapag naglinis ka ng mga bag mo at nakahanap ka ng pera (puwera naman coins) sa mga secret pockets…ay sobrang saya! Nyahahaha!
15) Kapag nakaupo ka sa MRT.
…
My list can actually go on and on. It’s funny to think of those mababaw things that you are really thankful for. Nais ko itong tawagin na GRATITUDE JOURNAL. At these times that life gets so complicated, it’s hard to recognize things that bring us benefits. Sometimes we burden ourselves in searching for real happiness, well in fact it slaps us in the face too hard…too many times.
Wishing you all a blessed new year!
P.S. With a fresh idea of "blessed" this time.
CONFESSIONS
t’s Lenten season once again. For some, the Season is the time for a carefree vacation: away from office or school deadlines, opportunities for becoming a couch or a mouse potato, time for booze and binge or simply a time to put oneself to sleep mode. For some this is the Season for reflection and soul searching. For some, this is the time to communicate with the Lord– a one way form of communication where one simply listens to Him and meditate on the words that the heart hears.
It is during this Season that I find myself in the confession box. Sad to say, I get to practice this only once a year. Two years ago, as I stood in line, a young girl, smiling, went out of the confession box. As I pondered over my sins, I suddenly wondered what the girl confessed to the priest. From the girl’s features, it seemed to me that the she haven’t even had her first communion, well probably she was just too short for her age. Nevertheless, her ways intrigued me. I suddenly thought of the things I did when I was her age which could have been considered sinful: quarreled with my brother or playmates, whined when my whims were not approved by my parents, having been stubborn when asked to do a household chore. But I suppose back then, I didn’t even think of them as things which I have to confess to a priest. In short, when you are young you have the vaguest idea of what is right or wrong, unless you get spanked on the butt.
Now that I got older, I suppose I can discern now what is right or wrong. But the problem is as you get older, yes you get wiser in differentiating the proper from what is not but you get so dumb in admititing to yourself what is proper from what is not… It’s difficult to confess one’s misgivings just like the young child. It’s quite difficult to admit the mistakes to ourselves, what more to other people. But the thing is, as you are able to admit these mistakes to yourself and eventually admit them to others, you get liberated.
Hopefully, as the Season ends, we all get smiles on our faces, just like what the young girl showed as she went out of the confession box.
It is during this Season that I find myself in the confession box. Sad to say, I get to practice this only once a year. Two years ago, as I stood in line, a young girl, smiling, went out of the confession box. As I pondered over my sins, I suddenly wondered what the girl confessed to the priest. From the girl’s features, it seemed to me that the she haven’t even had her first communion, well probably she was just too short for her age. Nevertheless, her ways intrigued me. I suddenly thought of the things I did when I was her age which could have been considered sinful: quarreled with my brother or playmates, whined when my whims were not approved by my parents, having been stubborn when asked to do a household chore. But I suppose back then, I didn’t even think of them as things which I have to confess to a priest. In short, when you are young you have the vaguest idea of what is right or wrong, unless you get spanked on the butt.
Now that I got older, I suppose I can discern now what is right or wrong. But the problem is as you get older, yes you get wiser in differentiating the proper from what is not but you get so dumb in admititing to yourself what is proper from what is not… It’s difficult to confess one’s misgivings just like the young child. It’s quite difficult to admit the mistakes to ourselves, what more to other people. But the thing is, as you are able to admit these mistakes to yourself and eventually admit them to others, you get liberated.
Hopefully, as the Season ends, we all get smiles on our faces, just like what the young girl showed as she went out of the confession box.
DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY (Repost from Friendster)
The Friendster system seems to have technical problems right now. I’m having a hard time uploading some pictures…too bad. Anyway, I am not going to rant about the Friendster problem…in fact I am raving that Friendster exists.
Getting through the Internet, the first two pages I open are Yahoo Mail and Friendster. It has always been SOP for me. Problem is, I get stuck most of the times browsing through the latter, leaving my other jobs behind. I take my time looking through the profiles and pictures of my friends. It is only through this system that I get to know the latest buzzes. I don’t know if I am just the one doing this — I mean, I really go through everyone from A-Z as long as I can handle it. Having gone through everyone and my friends’ friends, something suddenly dawned on me.
Weeks and months from now, some of my close friends will be leaving, and I can’t help but feel sad in a way. Some have gone before and of course I felt the same way and I miss them. But this time, it seems life-changing because I practically lived some years with them and this is like an exodus of people close to me. In a few months, I’ll never get to talk to them as I used to…I’ll never get to eat with them, go some places with them, never get to joke with them… things that are left which are toll-free in order to reach them are Yahoo Mail and Friendster. In a few months, I’ll be simply seeing their faces on Friendster.
Hah! This is starting to sound like a tribute, but why not? This is for all of my friends, who will be leaving…hopefully to live better lives and experience other things. It’s hard to be ready sometimes for things like these. One moment, we are enjoying despedida parties for you, the next moment, you’re gone. Time really will come when we have to live different lives.
The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stony ground
There’s no room, no space to rent in this town
You’re out of luck and the reason that you had to care,
The traffic is stuck and you’re not moving anywhere.
You thought you’d found a friend to take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand in return for grace
It’s a beautiful day, the sky falls
And you feel like it’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
You’re on the road but you’ve got no destination
You’re in the mud, in the maze of her imagination
You love this town even if that doesn’t ring true
You’ve been all over and it’s been all over you
It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
Touch me, take me to that other place
Teach me, I know I’m not a hopeless case
See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out
It was a beautiful day
Beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
Touch me, take me to that other place
Reach me, I know I’m not a hopeless case
What you don’t have you don’t need it now
What you don’t know you can feel it somehow
What you don’t have you don’t need it now
You don’t need it now, you don’t need it now
We all had beautiful days. I won’t let those get away. We all had beautiful days, I won’t let you guys get away.
Para sa mga taong ito: Ness, Mallows, Sam, JC, Dennis, Uriel, Reyna, Merced, Major, Tipe, Sir Andy, Jesus Paulo, Ate Mimi
Getting through the Internet, the first two pages I open are Yahoo Mail and Friendster. It has always been SOP for me. Problem is, I get stuck most of the times browsing through the latter, leaving my other jobs behind. I take my time looking through the profiles and pictures of my friends. It is only through this system that I get to know the latest buzzes. I don’t know if I am just the one doing this — I mean, I really go through everyone from A-Z as long as I can handle it. Having gone through everyone and my friends’ friends, something suddenly dawned on me.
Weeks and months from now, some of my close friends will be leaving, and I can’t help but feel sad in a way. Some have gone before and of course I felt the same way and I miss them. But this time, it seems life-changing because I practically lived some years with them and this is like an exodus of people close to me. In a few months, I’ll never get to talk to them as I used to…I’ll never get to eat with them, go some places with them, never get to joke with them… things that are left which are toll-free in order to reach them are Yahoo Mail and Friendster. In a few months, I’ll be simply seeing their faces on Friendster.
Hah! This is starting to sound like a tribute, but why not? This is for all of my friends, who will be leaving…hopefully to live better lives and experience other things. It’s hard to be ready sometimes for things like these. One moment, we are enjoying despedida parties for you, the next moment, you’re gone. Time really will come when we have to live different lives.
The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stony ground
There’s no room, no space to rent in this town
You’re out of luck and the reason that you had to care,
The traffic is stuck and you’re not moving anywhere.
You thought you’d found a friend to take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand in return for grace
It’s a beautiful day, the sky falls
And you feel like it’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
You’re on the road but you’ve got no destination
You’re in the mud, in the maze of her imagination
You love this town even if that doesn’t ring true
You’ve been all over and it’s been all over you
It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
Touch me, take me to that other place
Teach me, I know I’m not a hopeless case
See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out
It was a beautiful day
Beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
Touch me, take me to that other place
Reach me, I know I’m not a hopeless case
What you don’t have you don’t need it now
What you don’t know you can feel it somehow
What you don’t have you don’t need it now
You don’t need it now, you don’t need it now
We all had beautiful days. I won’t let those get away. We all had beautiful days, I won’t let you guys get away.
Para sa mga taong ito: Ness, Mallows, Sam, JC, Dennis, Uriel, Reyna, Merced, Major, Tipe, Sir Andy, Jesus Paulo, Ate Mimi
ANOTHER WORD FOR LOVE (Repost from Friendster)
Sunday morning…another time of the year when I have the inspiration to write about someone or something. But for goodness’ sake, why does inspiration have to come when you have tons of reports and exams to check and an exam that will commence in two days?! I guess the answer is clear. I need a deviation. Instead of clipping my nails (a habit of mine just to stray from something that gets boring), I’d rather rant here this time.
Oh, probably I got the inspiration because of the past few weeks that have been so hellish — when you don’t really have time to fix yourself, your things, your schedule, all other things around you — and yet there would be this one person who’ll tell you straight in the face that you look beautiful. Ahh…music to your ears. But something doesn’t make sense. You start to wonder whether that person was lying just to make you feel good or was 100% sincere. But if that person is the only one who tells you from the moment you were born, that you are indeed a beautiful child and have grown into a lovely person, then you better believe it…and so this person is everyone’s mother.
This time, I’d like to write about Mother Goose. Where she gets her toughness yet caring attitude has always been an enigma to me. A fighter yet the most gentle person I know. Yes, I saw her cried — when she watched those Tagalog films. I was younger then. I really hated it when she would wipe her tears on me and I just kept on wondering why would those kind of films made her cry. The last movie she weeped upon was Anak. How fitting. Hehehe. Only when I grew up I realized , that indeed some films were worth crying upon. She was the one who fixed my hair when I was younger. I had very curly hair then and she just loved twisting them until she came up with several curly locks she called spaghetti. But now I guess she cannot do anything with my hair…for it’s totally hopeless. She taught me how to draw. The favorite images she draws are the "model" figures of women and women facing at one side. Sheesh…I really had a hard time drawing those and I never learned them at all…that’s why I settled with drawing clothes for those model figures (got over a hundred of them) and instead of drawing the side view women, I drew nude women instead (the drawings look best in charcoal). She is the one who tunes my guitar. Again, I never exerted any effort in learning how to tune it. Yes, I can play it, but tune it –no, hand it to my mother instead. Oh my mother can sing too. She’d just get the guitar, play around with the chords according to the song’s tune and sing along.
My mother is the spoiler. She’d get us anything, just with the swipe of a credit card. Even now that I am earning for myself, she’d still buy me stuff, she calls necessities –like shoes/sandals of the same style but different colors, underwear that costs too much (she says it’s the quality that counts), clothes at the start of each semester (so students will not get bored daw with my wardrobe), perfume (because I have to smell good in the classroom), etc…I really don’t know where she gets the dough to pay for all those. Oh well, she is a highly accomplished person. The only woman among the high-ranking officials. My friends say that she has that aura of professionalism, true indeed. She never accepted bribe. She went to the court to defend herself from individuals who did wrong. She had an admirable strength and conviction.
She found a good job here in the Philippines. That is why, it is hard for her to accept that next school year, I would be going abroad…hopefully. As much as possible, she doesn’t want me to leave. But a mother will always support her child’s decision. Earning some good money from her work, she shared these blessings to others. She planned on gift-giving of goods during Christmas time at a squatters area near our place. She once dreamt of becoming a nun and a teacher. Now, we have a Saturday school at home where kids come for catechism. She had these kids now as her own –since her own kids have grown up into bastards…hahahaha. She taught me how to pray. Until now she advices me that no matter how busy I get, I should never fail to pray. She is a spiritual person. It really amazes me how she fits in her schedule reading several prayer books.
My mother has one weakness though, she is computer illiterate. Yes, and we never found the time to instruct her how to start a computer. See what kind of bastards, we have turned into? I don’t know, it’s so hard to teach her, but I guess it’s never too late.
I think we can never really repay what she has done for us, because they are all products of her unconditional love and sacrifices which we can never match. Yes, mothers know best, but I say, they are the best. Mother is actually another word for love. Oh have I mentioned that she is one of the best writers I know? She is the one who edits our works - my essays and literary works, my brother’s project proposals and my father’s office reports. As soon as I finish this, I’ll hand it over to her for editing.
Oh, probably I got the inspiration because of the past few weeks that have been so hellish — when you don’t really have time to fix yourself, your things, your schedule, all other things around you — and yet there would be this one person who’ll tell you straight in the face that you look beautiful. Ahh…music to your ears. But something doesn’t make sense. You start to wonder whether that person was lying just to make you feel good or was 100% sincere. But if that person is the only one who tells you from the moment you were born, that you are indeed a beautiful child and have grown into a lovely person, then you better believe it…and so this person is everyone’s mother.
This time, I’d like to write about Mother Goose. Where she gets her toughness yet caring attitude has always been an enigma to me. A fighter yet the most gentle person I know. Yes, I saw her cried — when she watched those Tagalog films. I was younger then. I really hated it when she would wipe her tears on me and I just kept on wondering why would those kind of films made her cry. The last movie she weeped upon was Anak. How fitting. Hehehe. Only when I grew up I realized , that indeed some films were worth crying upon. She was the one who fixed my hair when I was younger. I had very curly hair then and she just loved twisting them until she came up with several curly locks she called spaghetti. But now I guess she cannot do anything with my hair…for it’s totally hopeless. She taught me how to draw. The favorite images she draws are the "model" figures of women and women facing at one side. Sheesh…I really had a hard time drawing those and I never learned them at all…that’s why I settled with drawing clothes for those model figures (got over a hundred of them) and instead of drawing the side view women, I drew nude women instead (the drawings look best in charcoal). She is the one who tunes my guitar. Again, I never exerted any effort in learning how to tune it. Yes, I can play it, but tune it –no, hand it to my mother instead. Oh my mother can sing too. She’d just get the guitar, play around with the chords according to the song’s tune and sing along.
My mother is the spoiler. She’d get us anything, just with the swipe of a credit card. Even now that I am earning for myself, she’d still buy me stuff, she calls necessities –like shoes/sandals of the same style but different colors, underwear that costs too much (she says it’s the quality that counts), clothes at the start of each semester (so students will not get bored daw with my wardrobe), perfume (because I have to smell good in the classroom), etc…I really don’t know where she gets the dough to pay for all those. Oh well, she is a highly accomplished person. The only woman among the high-ranking officials. My friends say that she has that aura of professionalism, true indeed. She never accepted bribe. She went to the court to defend herself from individuals who did wrong. She had an admirable strength and conviction.
She found a good job here in the Philippines. That is why, it is hard for her to accept that next school year, I would be going abroad…hopefully. As much as possible, she doesn’t want me to leave. But a mother will always support her child’s decision. Earning some good money from her work, she shared these blessings to others. She planned on gift-giving of goods during Christmas time at a squatters area near our place. She once dreamt of becoming a nun and a teacher. Now, we have a Saturday school at home where kids come for catechism. She had these kids now as her own –since her own kids have grown up into bastards…hahahaha. She taught me how to pray. Until now she advices me that no matter how busy I get, I should never fail to pray. She is a spiritual person. It really amazes me how she fits in her schedule reading several prayer books.
My mother has one weakness though, she is computer illiterate. Yes, and we never found the time to instruct her how to start a computer. See what kind of bastards, we have turned into? I don’t know, it’s so hard to teach her, but I guess it’s never too late.
I think we can never really repay what she has done for us, because they are all products of her unconditional love and sacrifices which we can never match. Yes, mothers know best, but I say, they are the best. Mother is actually another word for love. Oh have I mentioned that she is one of the best writers I know? She is the one who edits our works - my essays and literary works, my brother’s project proposals and my father’s office reports. As soon as I finish this, I’ll hand it over to her for editing.
KIDDING ASSIDE (Repost from Friendster)
I call myself a bum right now. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got teaching and research loads but I no longer have any coursework ~ you know, those subjects with exams you have to study for and piles of reading materials you have to go through. They got me busy back then. So now, I have more time for leisure. To make up for the “bumness” I vowed to finish reading one whole book every week. So much for leisure. But take note, these are books I enjoy and not some crappy required reading list. I hate to buy because books and magazines really cost a lot these days, so I asked permission from my undergraduate roommate to ransack her collection. Before I go on, let me describe my roommate. She is a nursing student at a university near ours. She’s one hell of a studious person. Ironic as it may sound, as a teacher, I was inspired by her excellent study habits which I never had all these years. When I scanned one of her books, she made notes like “enrich your vocabulary”, under which she placed some words unknown to her and their researched meanings. She is not nerd-looking actually. She is pretty cool I think and quite artistic. She loves anime too. Anyway, so there, I read her book All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum. It’s a fun read and I actually learned a lot, or should I say relearned a lot. Here are some excerpts:
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school. These are the things I learned:
• Share everything. • Play fair. • Don’t hit people. • Put things back where you found them. • Clean up your own mess. • Don’t take things that aren’t yours. • Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. • Wash your hands before you eat. • Flush. • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. • Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. • Take a nap every afternoon. • When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together. • Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
Life is fairly simple. If only we were outstanding students of life and remembered all those kiddie lessons, this would be a more interesting place to live in. We get exposed to new beliefs, values and traits that overhaul our personalities. We continue to seek for higher knowledge to keep us updated. We imbibe lessons which we think can make us better, only to find out in the end that the basic lessons we had then are sufficient to live life at its fullest. Back then, I didn’t really understand the relevance of those. I simply obeyed for I believed that the elders knew better, only to find out that they do not actually know better.
Take for example the current issues that make Filipinos busy ~ ZTE deal, the Gloria Resign call. They are all quite irritating. If I only have the power to make everyone obey, I will ask those who call for GMA to resign to review the basic scientific method. Simply put, do not conclude unless you have done your experiments. Translation: We cannot just listen to anybody who says he is saying the truth and who convinces GMA to resign due to the allegations, because we are not even sure of the truth. If independent investigating bodies are still working in this country, let them be functional. My point is, we have done this before (read: Estrada’s ouster), only to be failed by GMA in the end. It would be unforgivable if the same thing happens to Noli de Castro. Now, if I have the power to make everyone obey, I won’t make GMA step down. Despite her, her husband’s and other government officials’ superfluous school degrees, I would refresh them with their kindergarten lessons. Good thing for GMA, she might still fit in her kinder chair!
Only problem is I don’t have that power I was talking about. Oh yeah, I remember, people power is still alive…not in the streets this time…but in the kid in each one of us.
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school. These are the things I learned:
• Share everything. • Play fair. • Don’t hit people. • Put things back where you found them. • Clean up your own mess. • Don’t take things that aren’t yours. • Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. • Wash your hands before you eat. • Flush. • Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. • Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. • Take a nap every afternoon. • When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together. • Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
Life is fairly simple. If only we were outstanding students of life and remembered all those kiddie lessons, this would be a more interesting place to live in. We get exposed to new beliefs, values and traits that overhaul our personalities. We continue to seek for higher knowledge to keep us updated. We imbibe lessons which we think can make us better, only to find out in the end that the basic lessons we had then are sufficient to live life at its fullest. Back then, I didn’t really understand the relevance of those. I simply obeyed for I believed that the elders knew better, only to find out that they do not actually know better.
Take for example the current issues that make Filipinos busy ~ ZTE deal, the Gloria Resign call. They are all quite irritating. If I only have the power to make everyone obey, I will ask those who call for GMA to resign to review the basic scientific method. Simply put, do not conclude unless you have done your experiments. Translation: We cannot just listen to anybody who says he is saying the truth and who convinces GMA to resign due to the allegations, because we are not even sure of the truth. If independent investigating bodies are still working in this country, let them be functional. My point is, we have done this before (read: Estrada’s ouster), only to be failed by GMA in the end. It would be unforgivable if the same thing happens to Noli de Castro. Now, if I have the power to make everyone obey, I won’t make GMA step down. Despite her, her husband’s and other government officials’ superfluous school degrees, I would refresh them with their kindergarten lessons. Good thing for GMA, she might still fit in her kinder chair!
Only problem is I don’t have that power I was talking about. Oh yeah, I remember, people power is still alive…not in the streets this time…but in the kid in each one of us.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET
After two weeks of our so-called winter break, I’m finally back to the place where I can wear comfortable short pants in bed, sans several layers of fabric. Somehow, it was relieving to see once again the green and brown fields and feel the ambient heat, at least when we got out of the airport last week. Despite the different weather conditions in the places where we went, I actually had an enjoyable experience- thanks to our wonderful hosts in Ohio: Ate Ena and Pukoy; in Detroit: Janir and Joel; in Buffalo: Merced, Moni, Imee and Devs; in Toronto: Ruby and Pukoy’s Tito George, Tita Neoly and cousin Rochelle and thanks too to our traveling companion to Toronto, Nesha.
The year 2008 has been kind to me and ushered me into a new environment, which I am gradually getting used to. To end the year 2008, here are my top personal thoughts brought about by the new lifestyle- some of them are worth thinking about and some are junk stuff in my head waiting to be vacuumed out, to make way for junk space for 2009!
> I am still a teenager. At the rate that my pimples are making their appearance, I try to look at the brighter side and just think that I have juvenile skin. Haha! Thou shall not recommend me some pimple-control products for I think I’ve already tried a lot. They work for awhile, but it seems that my system develop a certain kind of immunity. These days, I am not at all stressed, but they still come on stage. Maybe because of the food I eat? Or is this genetic? If having or not having pimples is a matter of heredity, I swear I’d knock the pimple gene out in the future! Somebody even told me before I left the Philippines, “Yung mga pumupunta ng US, kumikinis!” Yeah right, I should have placed a bet on that! So again, I am still a teenager. Teenager = no wrinkles and crow lines. Talk about payoffs. The lesson is: always look at the brighter side.
>A good number of male parishioners attend Sunday masses here in the US. It’s really heartwarming to know that the guys you see in Church are not only those who were dragged by their wives or girlfriends. There are actually guys who come by themselves and really pray fervently. Back home, who do you normally see attend masses? Well, several widows and some ladies, young and old but a few of the men. In relation to this, there was this funny observation made by this priest we have in the Philippines. He once asked, “Sino sa palagay niyo ang mas mahaba ang buhay?” People didn’t really answer for they thought it was a trick question related to the gospel reading for that day. Then smiling he said, “Aba, eh di ang mga babae. Sa araw-araw ba namang nagmimisa ako, eh ang mga babaeng balo ang ka-date ko!”
>I now appreciate listening to weather reports and being updated about them. Weather conditions here are weird. They often change drastically each day, so it helps to be prepared. I have two favorite terms right now: “wind chill”. And the people who do the daily weather reports have the designation, “meteorologist”. You really would like to believe them. I miss Ernie Baron.
>Almost everything is online. It’s difficult to be illiterate in a place where every person or every activity largely relies on computers. You have to pay the bills? Go online. You have to buy something nice and cheap? Go online. You want to register for classes or receive your salary? Go online. You want to watch something new and interesting? Go online. You want to get your degree fast? Go online. You want to make travel arrangements? Go online. You want to contact people back home. Go online. You want to get married? Sure! Go online. This is where I felt the impact of the computing age. If you have no functional computer, you’re dead. Well not really, just digitally dead- you are not in touch with the world. You see, the world has become virtual now. When I go online, it has become a habit to open 7 sites in this particular order- Yahoomail, Gmail, TAMU email, Multiply, Facebook, Friendster, TAMU elearning. Yeah I know, the others are close to nonsense websites. But what can I do? They make me happy. Hahaha! Each requires a username and a password. And for the desire of enhancing my memory skills, I have different user names and passwords for all those sites. Kidding. The truth is I have different user names and passwords because I never realized that I actually have to remember all of them to log-on to the systems. I just carelessly entered user names and passwords just to finish the registration processes. Now I am paying the price.
>A particular kind of body odor can really make one nauseous and sick and yet the perpetrator doesn’t seem to notice. :p
>Guys love to shop. Bring them to an outlet mall that shouts “ALL MUST GO!” and the shopping scrooges turn magically into Paris Hiltons, right before your very eyes. And take note, one outlet mall is not enough!
>Now I am beginning to understand the kind of training I am getting here. Here, we just have to take four courses, some seminar classes and the rest, research hours. It just recently dawned on me, that back home, we had to take gazillions of courses (not even related to what you actually want to do for research) for you to get your degree, and teach for long hours alongside, if you are on assistantship. The Ph.D. degree is more about research, and how you can handle its ups and downs. I wonder why we can’t have a research-inclined curriculum in the Philippines.
>Appreciate small things in life. They make you sane.
>We have time. During our graduate orientation seminar last semester, one professor raised this question, “How come you kids seem to be always busy, when almost all things these days are automated and readily available?” I wondered just the same. Am I really busy? Or is the business just superficial? Or maybe, am I just not making the most out of the time I have?
>Laugh for no reason at all! We just did that last week. And the result- we were laughing even more because we were laughing for no reason at all. Haha. It’s a good exercise!
HAPPY 2009!
The year 2008 has been kind to me and ushered me into a new environment, which I am gradually getting used to. To end the year 2008, here are my top personal thoughts brought about by the new lifestyle- some of them are worth thinking about and some are junk stuff in my head waiting to be vacuumed out, to make way for junk space for 2009!
> I am still a teenager. At the rate that my pimples are making their appearance, I try to look at the brighter side and just think that I have juvenile skin. Haha! Thou shall not recommend me some pimple-control products for I think I’ve already tried a lot. They work for awhile, but it seems that my system develop a certain kind of immunity. These days, I am not at all stressed, but they still come on stage. Maybe because of the food I eat? Or is this genetic? If having or not having pimples is a matter of heredity, I swear I’d knock the pimple gene out in the future! Somebody even told me before I left the Philippines, “Yung mga pumupunta ng US, kumikinis!” Yeah right, I should have placed a bet on that! So again, I am still a teenager. Teenager = no wrinkles and crow lines. Talk about payoffs. The lesson is: always look at the brighter side.
>A good number of male parishioners attend Sunday masses here in the US. It’s really heartwarming to know that the guys you see in Church are not only those who were dragged by their wives or girlfriends. There are actually guys who come by themselves and really pray fervently. Back home, who do you normally see attend masses? Well, several widows and some ladies, young and old but a few of the men. In relation to this, there was this funny observation made by this priest we have in the Philippines. He once asked, “Sino sa palagay niyo ang mas mahaba ang buhay?” People didn’t really answer for they thought it was a trick question related to the gospel reading for that day. Then smiling he said, “Aba, eh di ang mga babae. Sa araw-araw ba namang nagmimisa ako, eh ang mga babaeng balo ang ka-date ko!”
>I now appreciate listening to weather reports and being updated about them. Weather conditions here are weird. They often change drastically each day, so it helps to be prepared. I have two favorite terms right now: “wind chill”. And the people who do the daily weather reports have the designation, “meteorologist”. You really would like to believe them. I miss Ernie Baron.
>Almost everything is online. It’s difficult to be illiterate in a place where every person or every activity largely relies on computers. You have to pay the bills? Go online. You have to buy something nice and cheap? Go online. You want to register for classes or receive your salary? Go online. You want to watch something new and interesting? Go online. You want to get your degree fast? Go online. You want to make travel arrangements? Go online. You want to contact people back home. Go online. You want to get married? Sure! Go online. This is where I felt the impact of the computing age. If you have no functional computer, you’re dead. Well not really, just digitally dead- you are not in touch with the world. You see, the world has become virtual now. When I go online, it has become a habit to open 7 sites in this particular order- Yahoomail, Gmail, TAMU email, Multiply, Facebook, Friendster, TAMU elearning. Yeah I know, the others are close to nonsense websites. But what can I do? They make me happy. Hahaha! Each requires a username and a password. And for the desire of enhancing my memory skills, I have different user names and passwords for all those sites. Kidding. The truth is I have different user names and passwords because I never realized that I actually have to remember all of them to log-on to the systems. I just carelessly entered user names and passwords just to finish the registration processes. Now I am paying the price.
>A particular kind of body odor can really make one nauseous and sick and yet the perpetrator doesn’t seem to notice. :p
>Guys love to shop. Bring them to an outlet mall that shouts “ALL MUST GO!” and the shopping scrooges turn magically into Paris Hiltons, right before your very eyes. And take note, one outlet mall is not enough!
>Now I am beginning to understand the kind of training I am getting here. Here, we just have to take four courses, some seminar classes and the rest, research hours. It just recently dawned on me, that back home, we had to take gazillions of courses (not even related to what you actually want to do for research) for you to get your degree, and teach for long hours alongside, if you are on assistantship. The Ph.D. degree is more about research, and how you can handle its ups and downs. I wonder why we can’t have a research-inclined curriculum in the Philippines.
>Appreciate small things in life. They make you sane.
>We have time. During our graduate orientation seminar last semester, one professor raised this question, “How come you kids seem to be always busy, when almost all things these days are automated and readily available?” I wondered just the same. Am I really busy? Or is the business just superficial? Or maybe, am I just not making the most out of the time I have?
>Laugh for no reason at all! We just did that last week. And the result- we were laughing even more because we were laughing for no reason at all. Haha. It’s a good exercise!
HAPPY 2009!
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