TICTAC

How can you miss someone you don’t even know?

I am one person who can’t remember lines or dialogues verbatim from books I’ve read…no matter how quotable they are. Surprisingly, I remembered one statement (which I typed in red) from the book Suddenly Mommy (highly recommended by Larisa). Is it really possible to miss someone you don’t even know? I don’t think so. But the funny thing is, it has sort of happened to me. Maybe that’s the reason why I remebered that line.

Well, I actually know the person and that person knows me too…but we never know each other that much. We have never been together for a long time. We have never really talked about each other’s lives. There was only one short event where we had been together. All I know are that person’s nickname and boarding house location. In short, we are not really close to miss each other or long for one’s presence.

Then one day, we met and exchanged some greetings. And that person told me…"Uy Kewek, namiss kita." I stood there, thinking of what to say. Honestly, I was surprised to hear that. And so I changed the topic.

As I was going to my room, I felt guilty that I diverted the topic since I could not respond to what that person said. But I thanked God for that person. Then it dawned on me that there are people whom I can depend on. Though I don’t see them often, they have an ounce of appreciation for my existence. And now I have a goal… I should see that person more often…get to know that person better…for she is one person I realized I can really treasure as a friend. She has touched me in some ways.

Well, it’s possible to miss someone you don’t really know…I mean know that much, after all.

IT'S ALL IN THE STARS

The past week had been nerve-wracking yet euphoric in a way. Coming home after an exhausting endeavor, I got to read my horoscope from the day’s papers. Oh yes, I do read them, but at the end of the day, to see if the predictions were true. Haha. I have this inkling with horoscopes, got it from Mother Goose I suppose. I just enjoy reading them but never really believe in them…or should I say in most of them. So after reading my horoscope which said "You will gain something in return for all that you have given." I suddenly thought that it was one prediction I wanted to believe in.

I was recalling the day’s events. Very tiring indeed, but the satisfaction I got after getting a hug from one concerned person was enough to make me say that I really have gained something in return. Two days after, I received something from that person, enough to make me feel appreciated. Yes…I am gaining still.

ALL BY MYSELF...NOT FOR LONG I HOPE

I was such a pitiful sight five hours ago. I watched a very wonderful play at CCP…the pathetic thing was…I WAS ALONE. Oh yes…I laughed alone…I commented to myself. Of course, there were other people there, laughing and commenting…with their companions. I had no time to invite my friends…or never opted to invite them because I thought that I will be watching with my relatives…since one of the performers is a relative of ours. But no, not even one of them came with me. And I had no time to invite others. Well anyway, I enjoyed the show. I loved the environment, I mean the world of theater. If I had the guts, I would have been a theater artist, actor or production designer. I even got to sit at the back of an actor…not really famous, but familiar. Anyway, my point is, I was alone…but I had a happy moment.

It always happen that way. I go to places alone…engage myself in activities where I don’t know anyone, but end up happy. I get to meet new faces…I get to experience new things. It’s not that I am a loner or I never invite anyone, friends or family members to those events. It’s just that most of the people I invite are not available. Wow ha. It’s just sad that they miss some things which I think they would have enjoyed.

So I guess I am quite contented, doing things all by myself at this moment. When we cannot find contentment in ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere. Sometimes, we need to be happy on our own before some other person or some other things can complete us.

I hope that in all upcoming events, there will be people that I can drag along with me…hay I really hope. Happy naman mag-isa, pero mas masaya pag maraming kasama. ;)

SUNDAY MORNING

I woke up one Sunday morning with this message flashed before my eyes: Letting a person hurt you, and hoping they will change, is like hanging a sign on your doorstep, "All rodents keep out." and expecting they would understand. GODBLESS YOUR SUNDAY! :-) The message was from a long-time textmate. But he is no ordinary textmate. His messages never fail to make me think and pause for a moment for some reflection. His messages range from the profound to the mundane, but they never fail to leave an impact on you.

Anyway, and so I have read the message… quite true. You can never really change a person. I had this kind of inkling before…trying to change a person to make him/her better and then I realized, what made me think that this person is really of no good and who am I to change him/her. I felt sorry for myself. If you want to start a good relationship with someone else (by relationship, I just don’t mean a romantic relationship…i mean something that goes beyond that…long-lasting friendship), changing that person should be out of your agenda. That’s one of the important things I learned months ago. And so I let things be. I’ve learned to get along with that person. I remember, there was one Friendster survey I answered last year…one of the questions was "what do you intend to do days from now?" or something like that, and my answer was to befriend that person, because I never thought I could be friends with that person…our brainwaves were of different wavelengths. With that end in mind (the change that person idea), I really had a hard time getting to know that person, because I had already judged that person based on my initial impression. But when I junked that idea, everything seemed to fall into place. I had become friends with that person, and that provided such contentment. If a person wishes to change, I guess he/she will have the initiative. If there is really growth in your relationship, then both of you will have the initiative to change for the better and the best thing is that you learn from one another.

Hala…bakit ganito ang mode ko…advisory column ba ako…hehehe..Kadiri.

La lang…just some thoughts…on a Sunday morning. Hay sakit sa ulo.

THE SUPREME SACRIFICE

Mother Goose is currently watching a program at ANC and I keep on hearing "the supreme sacrifice"…"And what exactly is that supreme sacrifice?" I was asking myself… It’ just so irritating to here those words, I have no idea why. The thing that comes to my mind is a super supreme pan pizza…hah. I must be hungry.

I write here. I actually have tons of "more important" things to write about, but I am impeded by the fact that we might not have classes on the next few days…because everything has gone berserk in this country. Hmmm…wishful thinking (the we-might-not-have-classes- idea) but still I continue to write here.

I have become phlegmatic …very sad case indeed. Sometimes, you can’t help to be indifferent of the things happening around you, and all you wanted to do is laugh. Perfect. Comedy is our salvation. Instead of bickering, why don’t we all just laugh? Instead of talking as if we know what we are really saying, let’s just laugh. Instead of feeling sorry for everything that has been going on, let’s laugh. Let’s laugh our hearts out until we find solutions…until we find cure. Crazy ideas…at least I have offerred my suggestion. Hahahaha. It is up to you if you’ll accept my idea or dump it.

The supreme sacrifice is to shut up for a while and think…I mean really think. Sometimes, we don’t give importance to thinking…and so I propose that thinking is the biggest effort that one can do at these times. After such effort…laugh! You deserve to laugh after such sacrifice. Now, carrying out that thought is another thing. You provide the suggestion this time…because until now, all I can’t think of is to laugh.