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With a heavy heart for having just a very short hometown visit, I flew back to the US just in time for registration and meetings before the 2010 Spring Semester begins. Fortunately, my return flight was not as hellish as my flight when I got back to the Philippines. With the length of my stay in those three airports where we stopped over, I could have made an in-depth analysis of how each airport fared when it comes to customer service. I’ll save those stories for another entry.

This was the route for my return flight: Manila > Guam > Honolulu > Houston. For the flight from Guam to Honolulu, I was seated beside an African-American male who would most likely be comfortable occupying two seats instead of just one. He had the seat near the window and I was bothered by the fact that he might frequently get up and use the restroom and I had to make way for him every time. I know I am small and I can just squeeze in my seat to let him pass, but I don’t think that will do. Somehow, I know a part of his body would bump into me if I don’t make way for him. So there goes problem #1. When all the passengers got settled in their respective seats, he started talking to me. Uh-oh. There goes problem #2. I don’t know if you are the type who enjoys casual conversations when traveling, well I’m not one. The truth is, I seldom enjoy conversations with strangers. Then he started telling me his unfortunate story.

The man, maybe in his late forties has a friendly face and soft voice (despite his built). To initiate the conversation he told me that the flight from Guam to Honolulu was the third leg of his seven flights. Of course, I was surprised so I asked him why he had several stopovers. He said that was way cheaper than booking a direct flight. Oh yes, I understood the reasoning, but seven?! He said he came all the way from Cebu and had a flight to Manila. I told him I came from Manila too. I asked what he did there. (Haha. That just defied my claim that I don't enjoy conversations with strangers. But his case seemed interesting.) He replied, “Unfortunately, I got married there.” I gave a half-smile, uncertain whether he was joking or not (with the "unfortunately" part). He went on – “It was wonderful at first. I met this Filipina from a dating website.” Uh-oh again. At this point, I got anxious. I’m not sure if he gathered that I am a Filipino even if I’ve just said I came from Manila. I got anxious because if he had issues with Filipinos before, he might get back at me maybe not physically but verbally maybe. I’d thought of giving him a hint to stop talking to me, like pretending to be sleepy (which I did later anyway). But he went on with no sign of repressed anger or feelings of vengeance. He said that the Filipina was really very nice during their period of long-distance communication. He told her everything about himself (like he was a divorced man and he had a son; he had no job but relied on his pension and investments for financial survival) and trusted that the woman also told him the truth. He was aiming for someone who had a good education background, but said that in the end what matters to him is how the girl would relate to him. At the point when he wanted to go the Philippines to finally meet the girl, his 9-year old son warned him not to, but still he went to see the woman. Ironic for a younger one to advice the older one of the perils of meeting someone in a foreign land. He said he was just there to get to know the woman better and enjoy sight-seeing in the Philippines. And so he went. He said he had fun during the first few weeks. The woman brought him to different places in the Philippines and he liked the place. He just hated the traffic, so he bought a motorcycle. I was relieved that he didn’t inject in some personal stuff they did, because truth be told if one looks for a lover, he or she would be at some point asking for sexual pleasure. I thought at least that the guy is decent. It appeared to me that he was just one lonely guy who wanted a partner as he aged. But their happy moments didn’t last long. After a while, he said that the woman demanded for them to get married. He tried to reason out but the woman countered that since he was there in the Philippines, they might as well get married. And so they did. It was not a blissful one, however. They had fun times, but the woman started to ask him for some sort of funding- for her, for her family, for whoever. He supported her. He bought the woman a small place where they can stay and some furniture for comfortable living. After some months, the woman told her she was pregnant and began asking money again for check-ups. But after a month, the woman told her that she had miscarriage. This was the point when the man didn’t want anything from her anymore. The man didn’t know what to do being in a foreign country. He didn’t know the rules. If only divorce was legal, he would have filed one. But he was scared of the fact that the woman might make up stories that he was the one at fault. She might make up stories like he was physically hurting her or that he was not supporting her as his wife, etc. Oh, and he showed me their picture by the way and the picture of his son. He is really one sad individual. In the end, he said that he considered himself a fugitive for leaving his wife behind and getting a ticket for over-speeding (motorcycle issues), which, truth be told we don't really care about. He just wanted to get out of the Philippines and seek help in the US on how to legally end their marriage and get back the items and money he left behind.

Throughout our conversation, I was glad he didn’t ask me anything personal. He just asked why I was flying to the US when our plane was about to land. And he was surprised when explicitly I’ve said that I am Filipino. He just laughed.

It was interesting to see him look out of the window like a child, marveling at how wonderful Hawaii is from the top. It was indeed breathtaking. Maybe he was relieved too that he was nearing his destination.

It’s just disheartening to know that these things really happen. His story appeared to me like a scene from a movie. If you search the Internet for people’s impression on Filipinas, there will be this recurring statement saying that, since the Philippines is a third-world country and most people are impoverished, Filipinas tend to cling to foreigners and suck their wealth dry. It’s hard to counter this statement for it has some truth to it, but we should always educate people who make hasty generalizations.

Every nation has its distinct fragrance and stench. What I've described could be part of the unpleasant smell that the Philippines gives off. It is something that we hope to eradicate. In fact, there are a lot of things that we wanted to get rid of not just to gain global respect and recognition, but more importantly to gain self-worth as Filipinos living in our own land.

I've told a lot, when all I wanted to say is I miss my country, its people and its culture.

HOME (Michael Buble)

* Maria Clara was the chief female character of Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere who remains a symbol of the virtues and nobility of the Filipina woman.
Reference: http://home.netcom.com/~ntamayo/mariaclara.html
Photo from: http://www.pictureninja.com/pages/philippines/image-manila-skyline.htm